What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
