fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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