I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
