oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
