things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
