If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
