Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
