he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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