stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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