He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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