somebody snuck up and got me drunk
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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