can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
