We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
