physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
