Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
