He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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