Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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