Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
