it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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