Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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