love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
