i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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