If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
