with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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