i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
