Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Im part way to drunk.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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