Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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