I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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