I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize