Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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