I wanna bring you to show and tell
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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