Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
