did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
