im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
