Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
