So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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