I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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