You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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