You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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