Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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