i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
