You just made me feel so damn special
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
