I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
