He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
