I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
tell me about the eggs
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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