Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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