why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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