I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
