For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
