No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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