i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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