I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
