This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
