fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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