Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
