The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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