Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
