im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
