Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
