She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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