Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
